Fresh Start

Well- I'm off to reinstall windows so I can start the semester off fresh-- just in case i wasn't 100% effective in clearing all the bad crap off after my last infection- (Norton still doesn't update right despite nearly 9 hours of tech support- i also cant update my camera software-- so i'm sure SOMETHING is still wrong :) probably something i damaged while trying to frantically clean it :) ) little nervous because i had a LOT of stuff to clear off and i'm just praying it all works :) anyway- wish me luck :)

original photo credit: full sized and complete image can be found at www.positivechangeuk.com/images/biting_cd.

Incessant Waittimes!

What is it with Sallie Mae? Is there just an ever present need for the company to keep its theoretical hands on students' money until the last possible second?? My refund has been posted for nearly 4 days now but has yet to process-- i'm guessing due to the holiday period-- but.. the catcher-- its ALL automated- all my loans/grants ect are direct deposited-- so what-- do their computers take a 4 day holiday too?? can anyone enlighten me here? what am i missing- why is it so difficult to automatically transfer money electronically??- or hell at least process something in less than 4 days! that way at least i'd know i would have it in my bank account by the 31st... so much for it'll be here 10 days before classes start--well.. 8 days and counting motherfuckers! i am going to be really upset if i have to wait until AFTER the 1st to get my money that I will be paying back- its not like its free money- i'm paying intrest on this shit and can't manage to get it when i need it-- it's such bullshit :P --end bitch session--

Videos--The Miracle of Childbirth

Someone shared these on a message board i check in with once in a while :) thought they were awesome so i wanted to share them with you :)

This video is just downright hilarious :D


And as for this video, I just can't get over how happy she is during the delivery, and the process seems to take ages compared to what i remember mine to be (though i think i pushed for nearly 20-30 minutes so maybe not lol) and the lack of hands from doctors and such would have been awesome- i still attribute my tear (small as it may be lol- i still resent it ;) )to my doctor trying to pull back skin because she thought it was taking too long- according to dave she was almost ready to give me an episiotomy without my permission- i would have decked her just like the guy in the first video ;) enjoy!

On a Brighter Note

My grades for the semester are in- straight A's :) My thanks to anyone who tolerated my stress filled tears rants and whinings throughout the semester :D final cumulative GPA: 3.953 :) Hopefully next semester goes according to plan and entrance in the fall is a shoe in :) Wish me luck!

Operation Castle-- Castle Bravo-- 1954-- Remembrance and a Moment of Silence

Just one of many tests endured by the Marshall Islands... Just thought I'd share... I think the digital enhancement of the footage is nice- makes it easier to see just how devestating these tests truely were... and to think that many of the people who were exposed to the fallout from such a blast are still denied any assistance or even acknowledged publicly as having been harmed by the US gov.- and all the while the goverment knew full well that those islands would be impacted yet they manipulated the people of the Marshall Islands, used their trust, used the barriers of language to their advantage, and have utterly ignored pleas for help from the people impacted by this testing program- and these people still cannot go home-- I don't think I'll ever be able to let this go... Barker, I may just take you up on that offer to teach english in the Marshall Islands.. infact, I may try to take up employment with Greenpeace or some other organization that would enable to me to practice in the marshall islands and teach english as an aside- I have many concerns related to that plan- but for now i have to get through school... I just wanted to take this oportunity to share the footage with my readers and have one more moment of silence for this shattered culture... Thank you for your time.

Don't Hide Behind a Shroud! Breastfeeding Moms Stand Proud!

The Great Breast Fest Montage from mothergoosemouse on Vimeo.

A Bone to Pick- Daycare Provider Battle Grounds

So, as those of you who speak with me on a regular basis already know, I have run into a bit of a problem with our new daycare provider (that we just started with back in August). And although I have discussed it with nearly everyone already, and all have been totally supportive, I still feel hurt and angry about it. I cant figure out why I'm letting it get to me so much.
For those of you who don't know this story, I will briefly enlighten you. My son, who is just now two and a half years old, started lashing out at daycare about a month and a half after he started there (he had already started on his terrible twos so i can't attribute it to that- we ran into power struggles starting 3 weeks after his 2nd birthday)... Anywho... the outbursts this woman describes are just beyond me.. I have never seen my child behave the way she says he does when he is angry at her home. We occasionally get hit or screamed at by our son... but she is describing a child that violently attacks other children for no reason at all (she never has an answer for what started the whole ordeal) she has said he has headbutted, scratched, bit, punched and kicked her and multiple other daycare children all in the same fit... I have seen him hit another child MAYBE two times ever... usually its screaming over stolen toys or taking toys from another kid... but the problem is generally easily resolved... she says she cant get him to go to time out and when she puts him there he starts punching her and threatening her. She called me Tuesday to come talk to him because she said all the other daycare kids were afraid of him (mind you he is the smallest and youngest child there). When I arrived, he was sitting quietly in his time out chair (which faces so that he can see everything- quite a contradiction from our time-outs which she said she would switch to) and had the most hurt look in his eyes that were welled up with tears.. and the other children appeared to be playing quite contentedly...so... anyway.. when i came to pick him up at the end of the day (which was around 3o'clock) she had handwritten a letter about how if he acted out again like that one more time he would no longer be allowed to continue at her daycare... she called him a danger to the other children and called him physically and verbally abusive. How a two year old can be considered abusive is beyond me to begin with-- but.. as i said-- i have never witnessed such behavior out of my child. So, somewhat concerned, we took him to the doctor... who.. of course.. said he saw no behavioral issues and that it was most likely a problem with the daycare provider and either her disciplinary style and or her temperament... (I have never received a complaint about my child's behavior from anyone else who has ever watched him without me either).... SO..
Just to put things into perspective.. I have already paid through the end of the year-- so two weeks are left-- and I'm afraid to send him there-- because I'm not sure what's going on while I'm not there- not to mention I'm afraid to not be allowed to take him there during my finals (which i still have 2 left to take)... I don't know if this woman simply cant deal with very young kids or what... but.. I have started looking for another daycare-- but I'm kind of uncertain as to what is going to happen with the money we have already paid her-- in her contract it says we have to give 2 weeks notice to terminate the contract (paid) but it does not mention what happens if she terminates it-- and I'm assuming she'll wait until the last day of paid time is gone-- at which point i would be left scrambling to find another daycare days before my spring semester starts...
Well.. I feel slightly better I guess... I don't know.. I just don't understand how someone can charge to care for children that they know they cant emotionally handle (she has thrown another child out of her daycare in the past of the same age for the same exact said problems-- she informed me of this about a month after we started with her) And then throw that kind of stress onto someone just before the holidays at a time they already know is stressful for the other (ie:my finals) I don't know what else to say at this point... but.. that's where my thoughts lie right now-- just hours before my Spanish final.... I'm trying to move my mind away from the issue so that i can crack my book back open-- but... i just don't think its going to happen as i know i will be finally confronting her again in a few hours as well (I have kept him out of daycare since the letter was written) Oh well.. anyway.. thanks for reading... have a happy holiday season if you don't stop in again before then

Hooray for Snowmen!

As you can see :) we had quite a lovely snowfall. As a reward for finally having a good day this week (lack of hitting ect) we rewarded Owen on Friday by helping him build a snow man :) it was quite the event :) I dont think i've seen his eyes sparkle that much in a while now :) (alas, the effects weren't as long lived as i hoped lol :) he hit once yesterday and had a bit of a meltdown today-though today we kept him up a bit past his nap time inadvertently so today i would attribute as our fault- but- never the less he still loses his reward for the day :( ) *crossing my fingers for tomorrow* :) anyway :) just wanted to show off our snow man :)

The Church Down the Street

This is an old picture :) The church just down the street :) it has given us many a good laugh over the years :) just thought i'd share :)

Life Lines- the family i couldnt live without :)

I love my family so much :) Last night was interesting to say the least :) We had to go pick up a small payday loan for christmas ect and so we went to dinner were in and out pretty quickly-- but as we were headed home-- our tire went flat-- big mess-- dave and i spat for a bit about how he was too willing to do work for other people and help them when they needed help but wasnt ever willing to ask for help (his brother lived less than a block away) sooo :) anyway.. we got past that-- i went up to walmart to use their restroom-- and Dave found that we had a portable compressor in the trunk that we had no idea that we owned lol :) anyway.. on the way out of the store.. owen took a spill in walmart and cracked his head on the ground (he was wearing slippers and just slipped on the floor..) anyway.. he appears to be fine thus far so we havent worried about it-- but :) this morning-- when i was trying to give him his eye drops-- he actually helped me out a bit and fought a little less :) i was so happy :) maybe he wont be that much of a burden for miss Karla afterall :) Anyway... He's been asking non stop to go to grandmas (where he's staying this saturday) and to see Kaleb-- which i dont know when he'll get to see Kaleb sadly :( being sick all the time doesnt help when Kaleb has a brand new baby brother-- but.. we saw them last weekend at least-- anyway-- i cant find any new pictures of Kaleb- but i have some from owen's birthday party i guess i can use :) (I think angie has all the halloween pictures still) so-- here's the best recent pic i have--that's my dad in the background :)

Coca Cola- the cold inescapable vice

So, As i was starting to clean the house today- because i dont really have the ability to work much today as owen is home AGAIN sick-- this time with pink eye (yay!) uh-- I noticed the overwhelming number of cans of coke everywhere that i had been starting to tune out-- Its actually too embarassing for me to write just how many there are--- anyway-- I have no choice now-- but to admit-- I... am addicted...100% completely and fully.... to Coca Cola-- i mean-- I honestly think i might be capable of quiting smoking before quitting coke.... I have tried going to caffine free- and i can subsist on it-- but i always wind up giving in and going for the "real thing" and no other brand or company will do... that's all i ever drink-- in fact, i rarely ever drink even water-- it IS my source of hydration... (as inefficient as it may be) It's been this way since about a month after we went vegan and i gave up milk- because before- milk was my ONLY liquid with a little bit of coke here and there-- now i drink anywhere from 3 to 5 a day-- usually all within the same 2 hour period.... and i dont drink really anything else all day... soo... i have a massive problem-- and i know THAT alone is what is caused my weight loss to come to a halt and is holding it there--- so... i dont know what to do from here-- i am terrified to say goodbye forever-- - but its almost like alcohol-- i mean-- if i dont touch it at all-- i dont notice really-- a little craving here and there-- and a longing feeling-- but.... if i drink even a sip--- I have to drink a TON of it... and i've been diagnosed as boarderline hypoglycemic in the past... and I KNOW that that is a precurser for diabetes-- its almost like subconciously i'm asking my body-- please-- make me fat.. make me a diabetic... PLEASE.... i just dont know how to quit... someone help me :( or... whatever higher power may exist up there.... lend me a hand-- would ya? Thanks for your time

Library Fines--- in need of more reasonable limits

Is it just me- or is it hellaciously expensive sometimes to rent things from the library? I mean seriously-- I simply dont seem to have the discipline to return items exactly on time-- and that can be excruciatingly expensive if it happens to be a movie-- How is it possible that it is actually cheaper for me to rent from blockbuster-- or hell even to buy any movie i want to watch? Isnt the point of libraries to make media more accessible to the general public? For those of us that dont have the money to see all the movies or buy all the books we would like to? Due to some unexpected time constraints in the past couple of months i had a very hard time getting everything turned in and had trouble finding some things because we had taped them shut in Owen's closet during a painting project-- it actually turned out to be cheaper for me to just outright buy over half the materials i checked out (only 2 of which were movies by the way :P ) and i still owe money :/ Maybe i'm just not cut out to rent from libraries during the school semester-- i did fine when i wasnt busy and it was summer time-- but sheesh-- i had forgotten why i stopped going to libraries so long ago :P i guess i had to relearn the hard way-- let this serve as a reminder for me--- I'm not a good library renter lol :) at least this time i kept my reciept so i dont have to go through what happened last time (which i didnt remember until they slapped me with the fines-- last time-- i had to pay all my fines twice because someone didnt put it into the computer that i had paid (it was nearly 100$ :P -- i'll be keeping my reciepts on my computer desk for the next year lol )

An Incomplete Rant on Nuclear Testing and Government Responsibility

So, I'm not sure how I can do justice in my little humble blog and state how much my heart goes out to the people of the Marshall Islands. I finnished reading Bravo for the Marshallese last night-- and I'm just in awe- I never thought i could hate bush or rather the bush administration more than i already did-- but to learn that all the while as he/his administration was blatantly ignoring the outcry of many in the United States about being continually lied to and the outrage at puting our resources and military up to a fight that is clearly over oil-- which-- you know... may not have been so bad if they had at least been upfront about WHY they were going and then let the american people decide--- but.. back to my point-- ALL the while as this was going on-- he/his admin. was sitting on a petition from the RMI a Changed Circumstances Petition that called desperately for more assistance to the already vastly underfunded aid for a problem we created and then hurriedly tried to coverup.... They werent even insiting that other islands and atolls be added-- and the ammount they were asking for was barely what we already spend every 2 years on clean up efforts in Hanford that are inexcusably unsuccessful-- I just dont understand how anyone can sit back and actually still put ANY faith or trust in our government--
To make matters worse, as i was reaching the end of the book, I came upon a passage that was very new news to me (and if this shows how much in the dark i am so be it) The proposal for a Nuclear Waste facility on Yucca Mountain-- Just north of the Mojave Desert-- I was crushed-- much of my family from my father's side (the ONLY side of my family i actually have any association with) still lives in the mojave desert-- and my great gradnmother owns land in nearby mountains (on the california side though i believe)... (she just turned 100 this past year) and well.. since my family has not mentioned it-- due to the great threat it poses not only to the nation as a whole-- but to that area so important to our heritage and culture-- tells me that efforts to fully inform people are vastly inefficient-- (much as they were--though maybe not as much so-- in the Marshall Islands) My family seems at least outwardly to know nothing of this proposal-- and its nearing its final stages-- being fought by the local people-- but not necessarily by the people who that land means the most to-- much of my father's family has little to no education-- my father was the first person in our entire family to ever graduate from highschool-- I in turn am the first person to ever to go college--- so... even if they knew about it-- I'm not sure they would have the courage to or understand the great need to speak up and out against the proposal. I fear that they put trust where it is not deserved due to lack of educational attainment or even self educating activities-- The DOE has not had a very stellar track record in my humble opinion-- and I dont trust them as far as i can throw them-- They claim to have a failproof preparation plan for earthquakes (As this area is very high risk for such an occurance) and assure everyone that transport will not pose a threat to them (but-- as i saw in the case of the Marshallese-- they contiually assured people there was no danger KNOWING full well that there was danger simply as a means of obtaining test subjects) It seems to me-- that this-- in conjunction with Hanford and the impact that that whole mess had on native american populations-- is just one more deep backstabbing wound for the native american populous-- apparently-- their lands (those of the shoshone and piautes) are not worthy of maintaining-- are not hospitable or habitable places, and the people who subsist in those lands are apparently expendable..... I cant go on much more about this-- because i am only getting angry-- I instead have resolved to trying my best to help in the effort of the fight against the DOE's proposal--I contacted a man from nevada running a legal battle against the proposal today to see if i could get my hands on petitions/donation flyers/information packets ect... I will let you know if and when i hear back... Thanks for reading! :)

Picture Credit: http://www.pixelpress.org/chernobyl/screen8.html

Black Friday Madness :)

consumerism at its essance by ~david-bowie on deviantART

A nice Image to coincide with Black Friday-- What can I say.. :)
I'm shamelessly addicted to the infamous holiday despite my lackluster opinions on consumerism/commercialism/globalization ect ect.... I just cant seem to help myself--- but :) I retain my principles when shopping i think :) despite my need to feel the rush of the crowd
I think it is just that its the one time of year i get to spend time with just "the girls" of the family :) because i never really buy a whole lot on black friday-- though i did this year--mostly due to my trip to Toys R Us for their early morning sale---
A note on that-- people are flippin nuts!!! I waited outisde in the excrutiatingly painful cold-- couldnt feel my toes by the time i got in-- it was insane-- hell-- I was insane... I got there at 3:15 (the store didnt open until 5) and there was still a tremendous line in front of me.. by the time the store opened the line nearly wrapped the outer edges of the parking lot... Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your criteria lol :) I was not too far out-- it only took me 1 minute or less to get in the door-- I was not so far back in the line as to even be past the cars in the parking lot-- but some of the people up front had been there since 11 the night before...
ANYWAy... it got crazy-- a line tried to form on the opposite side of the parking lot just 15 minutes before store opening-- expecting to get in before the other people who got in line respectively along the boarder of the parking lot.... needless to say.. management kindly stopped that... HOWEVER... this insane woman with a child that couldnt have been more than a year and a half on her hip... got super pissed and barrelled into a woman shoving her into the concrete wall with her cart-- and when people started yelling at her she said she didnt give a fuck and that she had a little baby with her and wasnt going to wait out in the cold-- OMG-- i was dumbfounded-- how incredibly assanine-- and what a lovely example to set for your young child-- if you dont get your way-- its ok to throw a fit and hurt people (badly i might add) in the process... some people... i swear...
ANYWAY :) I managed to get in, get my stuff, and get out in 15 minutes flat :) lol-- 2 hours of waiting in line for a 15 minute trip to the store :) go figure :) but at least i didnt have to battle long lines at the cash register or anything and I still made it home in time to make owen's lunch, get him dressed and ready and get to circle centre in time to meet up with my family :)
Past that :) I only spent about 20$ while actually at the mall... but it was fun-- unfortunately-- staying up to make that sale so i didnt have to cough up money we didnt have to replace toys that were stolen drained me more than i could handle and i couldnt make it long enough to have lunch with everyone afterwards :/ I was a little sad.. but... I felt a little bit like an odd man out this year for some reason anyway...
Oh and on a side note Dottie made 3 vegan dishes this year at thanksgiving just for us :) (lol-- and some oyster dressing for dave of course :) ) aanyway :) I just thought i'd share my crazy story from black friday with you :)

Assholes for Christmas

What is it with people???? I mean really-- who steals from a little kid just before christmas??? Long story short-- we went to meijer this morning hoping to benefit from their thanksgiving day sale (spiderman figures 2$ each.... ) well.. we didn't make that-- but anyway... when we got back to the car-- Owen's spiderman, black spiderman, and green goblin were all missing-- well at first we thought-- ok we must have just left them at home-- he probably set them down after i put his coat on ect ect-- we didn't think much about it the rest of the day-- and when we got home-- he wasn't at the house-- so we double checked the car twice and all over the house in the most random places we could think of... nothing-- all three of them-- gone... so.. he hasn't quite figured it out yet-- he just knows we don't know exactly where they are right now... and we gave him his spiderman toothbrush holder to go to sleep with for the night-- and he still has batman and robin and black cat.. so.. those are appeasing him for tonight-- i don't know what's going to happen if i cant get to toys r us tomorrow morning and make their sale-- i cant afford to replace them (not to mention the fact that i probably CANT replace green goblin since he is not a spiderman 3 character and we never see him in stores anymore-- he was the only one in the store the day we bought him)I mean-- and its quite obvious to whoever took it that we don't have a lot of money just from looking at our car-- i just don't understand what would possess someone to do something so cruel to a little kid....wish me luck in the madhouse of what is toys r us first thing tomorrow morning :) after that i'm off to circle centre mall :D

LOL! Candidate Matching?? :)

Politics... not one of my most skilled subjects :) but i know a bit-- have had a little correspondence with our senate members over the past few years-- but past that-- i guess i'm out of the loop sometimes-- I know what things i want changed-- but i dont always know what bills are up for debate ect ect-- unless of course it regards cigarette taxes or farming legislation-- and a few issues regarding animal testing plant building sites--- but... past that-- i only know what's going on after its been voted on-- i've been trying to become a bit more involved over the past couple years-- but its not going well quite yet :)
ANYWHO :) in case you're still interested (just had to make a little disclaimer because i'm not 100% set in my views on any candidates and such just yet) -- I came accross a few sites that had candidate matching quizes-- that just seems so foreign/odd to me... i mean... how are you supposed to trust that site to not be serving its own agenda? lol :) has anyone ever used these things?? :) I tried one of them-- but it was way off-- so i either wasnt concentrating enough and wasnt answering to the best of my abilities lol (dont know how THAT happens :) ) or it just kind of randomly sticks you with whoever answered EXACTLY as you did-- because-- i mean i had some candidates up there on my list that were WAY off-- where as other candidates who were closer in view to me on more issues but not exact on quite as many were further down-- hell-- i had a couple candidates i really like not even show up on my list-- sooo :) if anyone knows of a good version of that type of thing let me know lol :) the test lets you gauge importance for the issues-- but really... i just dont think its all that accurate-- but it did fill me in on a couple of candidates i had not yet looked into :) soooo :) my job in the next few months is to do a little more research on Mike Gravel and possibly Joseph Bidden--- because i dont know much about them but from what i was seeing they MIGHT be close on some issues for me-- I was really disappointed though-- because i really had come under the impression that Bayh was running (But it appears he is not due to the fact that he feels it would mean he would have to be virtually absent from the senate :( which-- i respect-- but... I think it would have been interesting :) though-- we do have a lot of interesting folks in there already so :) i guess i'm ok with it) I dont know Bayh's exact stances on some of the issues that are fairly important to me in this election anyway-- but i have had very positive interactions with him in correspondance through letters over the past couple years.. so would be interested to see-- and havent had much time to really read through all of his stuff on his site... ANYWAY :) just thought i'd let you know i had a little chuckle at my results on one of those candidate matchers :) ask if anyone knew of one that was fairly accurate ect :) I'll shut up now :)
Have a Nice DAY!! :)

What a DAY!

Sooo-- i spent most of today working on my pc-- i couldnt help myself-- i just got obsessed with it-- i worked on it much more than i should have considering the amount of work i have for my classes really-- tomorrow will be spent all day at the state library looking through microfilm (YAY) :) lol and then well.. ok-- so not the whole day-- i get to write a paper about the infamous Franklin Click :) (will post that paper for sure :) ) anyway-- its gotten rather interesting-- he's a character to be sure :) had a wife and lots of kids :) anyway... uhmmm :)
OH :) another update :) i'm reading a new book :) so far so good and loving the hell out of it :)
Bravo For the Marshallese-Holly M. Barker :)
If you have any politica/scandal/coverupl interest i suggest reading it :) (as well as if you have any interest in indigenous peoples or just simply like learning about the various cultures of the world as i do lol :)-- I may speak more on this book later :)
ALSO :) Dave decided to go and injure himself in his sleep last night lol :D (ok-- i MAY have had something to do with that prior to actually going to sleep O:) ) but he is now on high potency muscle relaxers and vikadin (SP??) he has a muscle in his neck/shoulder that is spasming nonstop-- just wont let go-- he can barely turn his head poor guy :( i feel bad because i havent been able to pull myself away from this damned computer long enough to go baby him :) (but am about to so it'll all be good :) i just have to finish up here and check for my consultant one more time :) )
soooo anyway... not sure what else i was intending to update/rant about :) but i'm sure it will come to me :) i'll come back tomorrow afternoon :) (oh-- and more pics to come soon-- i've been a little bogged down and well-- needless to say getting on the internet has been a little hellish for me :) )

anyone have an explanation?

Could someone explain to me-- what exactly is the fascination with infecting people's pc's with petty little viruses??? I mean-- who in their right mind-- that has a life-- would benefit from putting applications/dlls or script files onto some random persons hard drive that does nothing but interfere with the speed of processing and create ANNOYING little pop ups??? yeah ok-- so the pop ups often download even more CRAP onto your pc-- but honestly-- what kind of entertainment does that provide someone who cant even SEE your pc-- cant see you cussing at your computer for not getting fixed faster?? so i restart my computer today-- and i've now deleted 17 downloader.misleadapp s-- this bout of infections hasnt been hard to fend off-- actually i've deleted all of these within a 10 minute time frame-- i'm not sure how removing the spyware is going yet-- but... BAH!! what is WRONG with people-- i mean-- i have no money-- sooo that motive is out the window-- yeah i have a connection speed-- but... what the hell good is it going to do them?? i dont KNOW anyone who has money-- nor do i store info for my friends/family ect on my computer--- ALL i do online is blog, myspace, homework, and banking with my ever tight budget--- i mean... i just dont understand-- all this is doing is taking away time i NEED to finish homework so that down the line i can provide a better life for my son-- i mean-- logically-- you think they'd leave college kids alone since if they wait 5 to 10 years and THEN infect them they might actually profit from it... but no-- all this experience has gained for them long term is to put me on high alert FOREVER-- so that when i DO start making money-- they wont be able to touch my pc-- i mean-- i've learned more about malware/spyware/adware than i EVER cared to know in my life--- and when i actually have something to protect-- you can bet your ass-- i'll study JUST as hard as they do to protect myself from them as they do to gain access to my piddly pathetic excuse for a computer right now.. can ANYONE explain motive to me here?? I am just baffled... ok... i'm done now... i'm going to go burry my head in a book where this stupid downloader problem cant bother me anymore today....

people and their medicine

why are people so stubborn??? so unwilling to admitt that the medial community might have it wrong sometimes??

Just a little backgroud-- my "friend" for sake of privacy-- 22 years old-- had a stroke this year-- believed to be from mixing birth control with smoking-- I had warned her over and over about it-- first-- she took depo-- a drug that virtually sent my body to hell and back (i had nonstop heavy bleeding for nearly a year on the stuff--and had horribly screwed up cycles after coming off of it---) anyway-- what my doctors had done for me was the same thing they did for her they decided that to get my cycles reregulated they would put me on the patch-- well-- they put her on the pill (same hormone-- different method of administration) anyway-- while i was on the patch (i am also a smoker) my blood pressure spiked to 181/116--- within 3 months of starting it-- and wow-- lo and behold--- dispite my warnings to her-- she takes the pill and within just a few months-- strokes out--

she's doing ok now-- but-- has decided to go with an iud to prevent pregnancy-- as now she has no choice and cant become pregnant because of some of the medications she's taking-- i warned her that if she ever wanted to have kids in her life (once off the meds and such) she should probably consider a diaphragm or cervical cap--- anything but an iud-- which is shown to cause scarring on the fallopian tubes--- she and her mother just looked at me and said-- she's done a lot of research and her doctor says its safe---

did I NOT warn you last time?? was i NOT right?? did your doctor not adamently profess that the pill was a safe option for a heavy smoker last time and just encourage you to cut back??? who the hell are you going to trust??? i'm telling you--- i'm really close to this person in my life-- but i dont want to hear 10 years from now about how she cant get pregnant or how she got an ectopic pregnancy due to extensive scarring in her fallopian tubes.... (not to mention she has other risk factors that might have caused a little of that from the past as well)

I just dont understand how people can put so much faith in doctors who have ALREADY proven that they will tell only the bare minimum about the true risks behind the option they are choosing--- (kind of like the world of pain medications and inducers in child birthing--but more on that at a later date to be sure)..... sorry-- i just had to rant-- this makes me so sad and angry at the overall sheep like blind trust in the medical community... just do a little hardcore research-- look for the cases where things went wrong-- get an idea of just how many people actually DO have complications from them-- and then-- decide if its the right option for you-- especially when you really do have a desire to have kids later in life... i just dont get it....

*steps down from soap box*

Long Night

So I never thought i'd ever in my life learn this much about nerves.... I'm utterly exhausted-- and i still have 4 chapters to review by monday.... on the bright side-- supposedly this section of the course covers a third of the material for the entire class- so after monday it will all be behind me for the most part (well-- not if you count that i have to retain it enough to take my final at the end of the semester-- which i think the cumulative section of the last test is only 20%-- the other 80 comes from the last section covered in class.... ) ANYWHO.... tomorrow.. i get to study some more :( and in effect i miss out on a minimum of half the day with my son and Dave... who will be going out to my parents house to help with a project my dad has (putting in a new giant window...) hopefully that will give me enough time-- then tuesday i have a buttload of stuff to do at the state library researching the homicides of franklin click--- yahoo... :P fun fun fun... not to mention i have a spanish quiz the following day-- which i have YET to be able to crack a book open for-- because i've been so bogged down by anatomy and my indiana homicides class-- i mean really?? should a one credit hour class take up THIS much of my time??? not to even get me started on the fact that it was purely elective and has NOTHING to do with my major-- well-- it does to an extent but it wont count towards it....
anyway.. i've discovered that in order to maintain my 3.92... the only class i can even briefly think of getting a B in is my indiana homicides course-- but i cant RAISE my GPA unless i get an A in everything... and unfortunately it was starting to look like i would get a B in my spanish course--- but.. alas-- if i do that--- i will drop my overall gpa to nearly 3.81--- totally not acceptable-- puts me at too much risk of having to reapply in the spring of 09... and well... that puts me graduating in 2012-- leaving an age gap of 8... count em.. 8 years (7 1/2 if we're lucky)between our children... too much for me... i'm not willing to do that.... so... i'm adament that i'm getting in next fall (i REALLY wish it was spring-- i hate that i didnt notice those classes had to be finnished by summer session II) anyway... that has me graduating in fall of 2011-- owen would be *gasp* 6 1/2--sooo... hopefully... i'll be at least a couple months pregnant at graduation lol (yeah as if i could be so lucky...) and they wil only be 7 years apart :( but.. still more than i was hoping-- i was hoping for more like 5 years apart-- but even if i could get in next semester it would still only be like 6 1/2 best case scenario.... i'm getting a little depressed right now
:( sorry i'm rambling....
its making me want to reconsider having another baby before i'm out of college-- but i honestly dont think we could afford the extra daycare at this point....
Anyway... I guess i'm off to bed now-- i'm freezing so.. at least i'll get to be warm lol...

Poor baby :((

I feel so bad for my little boy today!! he's not wanting to do anything except lie on the couch with thomas playing-- he's getting his 2 year molars on one side finally--- and he's just miserable-- every time he gets a new tooth he gets excessively high fevers--and that is much the case today-- we're alternating between 102 and 103 (for his temperature) :( he has a slight cough and sneeze but that's it (mostly from the excess drainage and stuff building up-- i dont think its a full blown cold-- it ususally isnt) so... i guess studying is out except during naps-- cause i cant concentrate with the tv going (wierd i know.. but i have to study in absolute silence)..... so... i thought i'd come on here for a bit.... i'm going to see if he's up for some vegan pigs in a blanket later (what mommy really wants anyway) :) but--- i'm sure all he'll want is "soy nuggets" lol :D have a good day!! thanks for stopping in!!

Insects!! :)

So, yesterday i found this little critter on my porch-- not sure what it is-- its new to me anyway-- if anyone has any ideas let me know :) beautiful little insect really-- friendly from what i can tell-- has wings-- but cant fly-- i'm guessing because she's dying from the cold though-- he/she doesnt spray anything (Which is what i thought would happen at first because of the shape of her tail end-- and i didnt hold her so i dont know for sure that the little appendage on her mouth is used for plants but i'm pretty sure it is-- but it resembles the mouth of a mosquito.... anyway....thought i'd share him/her kept her overnight until i could get my camera working and now she's back on my porch where i found her/him


ANSWER: I found my answer :) it is a wheel bug :) (assasin bug) it feeds on softbodied prey (ie:caterpillers and japanese beatles)

Intro

So... I'm not sure how much time i'll have to devote to this in the current semester-- but i'm going to try-- i have enjoyed the blogs i've run into thus far (with the exception of a random one i surfed across and managed to get a lovely malicious script from (which courteously gave me 6 downloaders-- thanks for that whoever you are-- took me 3 days to fix :P) anyway... A bit about me for the curious-- I am a vegan married woman from greenwood indiana. Politically, I would say i'm an independent-- I am nearly split down the middle on my political views so :) as time goes on maybe you'll figure out which part of my ramblings come from which political views :) anyhow... I have a two year old son :) (also vegetarian-- ovo-lacto-veg to be specific) My husband is a pesci-vegetarian (he does not consume dairy or eggs though) anyway... I am currently enrolled at IUPUI-- will transition to IU school of nursing next fall (I would be able to do that in the spring were it not for the fact that all credit hours used for admission had to be completed by the end of summer session II and i wanted to take anatomy in the fall and not the summer... soo.. i have a semester of blank fill classes in the spring and am planning on knocking out physiology and a few other misc. electives next semester to lighten my course load in the fall and beyond. I have been in college since 2004-- but i took 2 semesters off to stay home with my son after he was born (he was planned-- we just thought it would be better to have our children before i graduated since i will be on contract when i get out of school and therefore would not be allowed to stay home more than 12 weeks-- and i wanted to stay home the first year-- we reconsidered that after i stayed home with Owen the first year-- and will have our next child after i graduate--mostly due to the fact that i would not be able to afford daycare for 2 children while in school (well and a host of other things but well-- i think that's sufficient discussion on that topic)
Anyway, I am currently enrolled in 15 credit hours-- and drowning-- but still maintaining my A average (i currently have a 3.92) needless to say-- this has been the most stressful semester of my college career-- it is my first full time semester back since Owen was born (I went part time for 2 other semesters) I work for a home health care company when my course load is lighter and during the summer-- helping mentally (And some physically) disabled independent individuals become more self sufficient (they pay for their own residences-- some of them work, live on their own outside of a medical setting but need guidance in community interactions, spending habits ect) i have been with that company for just over a year now
My son is the light of my life :) he is very diverse in his interests and fairly bright :) he is potty trained with the exception of during sleep times he loves Thomas the train, cars, spiderman (Though he hasn't watched it but once-- and not with me :P ) superman (never watched-- i think he just likes the idea of superheros lol) :) and is obsessed with dinosaurs :) knows all of his colors, his alphabet, numbers up to 10, and to my dismay has learned to hit recently :( (which we are struggling very hard to break and not having much success) he has always done fairly well with behaving-- we started time outs at 12 months-- it worked beautifully-- but we always pair it with hugs and a gentle conversation about what he did to get put in the corner and make sure he apologizes ect ect :) outside of that our methods include a variety of rewards (monies--meaning pennies lol, and toy matchbox cars (or other specialty toys he picked out when we can afford it) for accident free days-- which has been transitioning to weeks now :) )
Anyway , currently, I am taking anatomy, Spanish (so that i can eventually take medical terminology in Spanish for field specific work-- because i wholeheartedly believe that despite best efforts people who have a different native language in emergency situations should not be expected to remember a foreign language), cultural anthropology (I LOVE this class lol), independent study in piano, and indiana homicides (a 1 cr hour class that turned out to be a nightmare-- but is almost over lol) :)
My class history includes-- honors advanced english composition, (a basic math refresher course was taken before this but not counted towards my major) finite math, sociology, interpersonal communications, intro to psych, child and adolescent psych, biology of women, chemistry, and.. I think that's it thus far-- i took a lot of stuff in high school that has carried with me too :) (I went to cathedral high school by the way)
one of our best friends just had a baby this week :) and i've been busy trying to get together old baby clothing, my old front carrier ect for her and putting off homework because its stressing me out :) but i'll get back to it today-- i have to-- my neurology lecture test in anatomy is on monday :( (wish me lots and lots of luck lol) :) anyway... will be starting a new book soon-- will update on that later :)
love peace and compassion :)
-Tawni-